These are the days.....

......and I never want to forget them.

No photos to post, just my thoughts at the end of a long day....bear with me.....

I was just going to bed and felt the pull to the pc. My head is racing lately with thoughts of gift giving and the anticipation of what's to come next week....but more than anything I find myself so thankful and blessed. Another snow storm is upon us and the winds are howling. Branden spent the night at a friends house. He went there directly from school so I haven't seen him since he left this morning. As I listen to the winds and look at the clock, 11 PM, I wonder if he's settled in. Its not the first sleep-over.....Im being nostaligic tonight....I wish I could call there now to say goodnight to him...I miss him...its stupid, I know, but like a momma bear, when the weather sounds so creepy outside, I just want all my babies near. I'm really enjoying watching him grow into an awesome young man. All of a sudden (middle school) he's too cool for snow pants and boots....except in the company of his very best friends, the ones he's grown with. When confronted with a situation at home (in his comfort zone) that upsets him, he has a voice now....one of conviction....as much as I dislike the confrontation, I'm so proud he's found the ability to stand up for himself. I'm so blessed to be his mom!

Makenna, what a beauty.....and so incredibly full of love. I think we needed the separation that the school days bring to bond us closer as mother and daughter. We appreciate each other more and our time together is peaceful and fun. She speaks so kindly to me.....always proclaiming her love for me and wanting to be near. I can tell she's comfortable talking to me, especially when things bother her....I hope that never changes. Our relationship started so different.....I always thought we'd battle....this may be the calm before the storm but I'm documenting it so I can remember the sweetness in her voice and that cute way her tounge rests against the back of her teeth when she pronounces words that end in S. I'm so blessed to be her mom!

Cameron....his desire for a dog is overwhelming. When he shared his quest with classmates and the deal he had with his dad to keep his room picked up for 60 days, one boy told him he'd never do it. Forgive me for the mean thoughts I had of lashing out at that boy...but I knew he just really didn't know my kid. His determination and support from home will help sweet Cam get a dog, I'm confident of that! I love that he wants to grow his hair longer...I especially love how much he looks like Jean did when we dated with those curls in the back. He's a gentle giant with an amazingly HUGE heart. I'm so blessed to be his mom!

Ms. Marleigh...I tear up just typing her name. My little surprise...my gift from God. The decision to keep her home with me another year was so hard....I know she wants more of what is outside of these four walls. I have no regrets....the four months we have had alone since the kids started school have been the best! She's colorful, beautiful, sweet and my baby til the end. Today while out running errands, I listened to her constant chatter....soaking in every mispronounced word and the long stories that happened "last night, last year, all the day, etc., etc." I was thinking about how I knew the day would come when I would crave these moments and want them back. Maybe I'm wrong about that....maybe time makes you forget those little simple things that happen every day so that you can go on through life without yearning for them to be 3 again. Anyway, I made Jean videotape her....I just never wanna forget! I'm so blessed to be her mom!

Jean...chosen by me YEARS before he ever really noticed me....how lucky are we that he got over his desires for beautiful women and woke up to reality that the real beauty was not on the outside. God gave us each other and not one single day goes by when we don't realize and acknowledge it. Our relationship is blessed.....therefore everything in our lives are blessed. I will always fall back on that....through good times and bad. I am so blessed to be his wife!

Good night....rest well....

~kel~